Back to my bubble

I finally ventured outside this weekend for the first time in two weeks! :) After coming home from the hospital on MLK day, I had went to my doctor's office the following Thursday to get some shots I needed for Cleveland. Even though my doctors office is close by, I really dreaded going out because of how badly I was still feeling. Not to mention I still thought I looked like a freak with my larger than normal head and neck size! So anyway, it was finally this last Friday that I ventured outside of my humble abode. Doug had gotten a gift certificate to eat at the Inn at Versailles and so we went with good friends of ours, Kristi and Jason. We had a really good time with some good laughs. It was just nice to get out even if it was just for a short amount of time.

Doug went to Austin's wrestling meet in Lima yesterday and Austin got 3rd place! Yay! I stayed home with the younger two to rest up so I could go to church today....we hadn't been there since Christmas!! I could definitely feel the rain and the cooler weather as my chest was tight and heavy yesterday. I was also starting to feel achy. So not so great there...but tolerable. i just need to make it 10 more days for Cleveland!

Last night I was on Facebook...I was actually pretty bored and was just looking at everything. :) I noticed on the left side that under "messages" I had "other messages". Intrigued, I clicked on it and saw mostly spam stuff but there was a message from a mother that I had gotten back in September. Some of you will know the story and I will not get into the details, but this message was pretty hurtful. Bottom line of what happened before was Alexa had a "friend" that wanted her to spend the night one night...I said no because we were going to church the following day...and this girl's mom had called me up and actually talked me into having Alexa spend the night. Alexa was upset the next day and didn't want to spend the night, so I called the girl and told her she couldn't. That should've been that, but the girl spewed hurtful (and obscene) words at Alexa and Austin through Facebook. I blocked her from everyone. Then I see this message last night from her mom that she sent back in September to me. She tells me that I am a stuck up snob, like so many others are in this town, and that as far as she's concerned her daughter didn't do anything wrong. (there is totally more to the story...) She said she is "good church going people" and I think that she really thinks there was nothing wrong with the way that she went off on me.

I thought about her message for a little bit and I asked myself...should I respond? Shouldn't I? I thought I should let it go, and probably should have. But I didn't. I wanted to try and let this woman know that she needs to think before she speaks. I told her I didn't appreciate her mean and hurtful words that her daughter said to mine...nor did I appreciate  the mean and hurtful words she said to me. I told her that she does not know me just as I do not know her. I told her what I was currently facing...a double lung transplant...I told her I didn't know if I will survive long enough to see surgery, make it through surgery, or how much longer I will have after surgery. I told her that every day to me is a gift and I have learned it the hard way but that is what it is...a gift to be treasured. Who is she to know who I am just from one incident that happened between our daughters. I admit I should maybe "forgive and forget" (because back in September I told Alexa she was not to hang out with this girl anymore) because that would be the Christian thing to do. However, I am still a protective mama bear and don't mess with my cubs!! :) I did tell this woman that "good church going people" do not behave this way at all. I'm not saying I am perfect by any means, but God has led me down a different path and has made me see things in a whole new light. I look to Him for strength and guidance right now because He is all that can do that for me. So I blocked the mom from my Facebook because I do not wish to see her response back to me as I am sure it won't be very nice anyway. If she wants to believe I am a stuck up snob, then so be it. I know different as does everyone else.



Pastor Wheeler's message today at church I felt really pertained to me. The title was "Fruit of the Spirit: JOY" and the main message was to be joyful every day for you never know when you'll get to the finish line. Live in the present. Not the past. Not the future. Live for today. Part of his message was a woman that was a quadriplegic. She was out with some friends and the friends wanted to know how she kept such a positive attitude about things given her situation. She told them all about how she started her day. Her husband leaves in the morning, and then her friend comes about an hour later to help her get out of bed, to bathe, to eat and to get her out the door. She said in that time she prays to God to give her strength to go on another day. Even though she doesn't feel like going on another day. She asks him to put a smile on her face even when she doesn't feel like smiling. Back with her friends she tells them that it is God smiling through her. She is a joyful person even with everything she has to deal with because of her relationship with Him.

So while Pastor Wheeler said this a whole lot better then I did (and I know I probably left out some other key info as my listening and memory skills are not the greatest, haha!) it struck home with me. I do try and have a smile on my face no matter what. Even when I don't feel well I still try and smile. To be honest, smiling makes me feel a little better. :) Why frown and be grumpy all of the time? I don't know how many times I have heard while in the hospital, well, at least you're smiling! Well, yeah, seems to be the only thing that I can do! I tell them that if I wasn't smiling, I'd be crying. Those of you that know me know that I am not a crier! While the message was being given, I also thought to myself and reminded myself that things could be much worse for me. I have the use of my hands, feet, arms, legs, mouth, nose, ears. Just because I have difficulty breathing, I am still breathing and I am still here fighting! The main points of his message today were awesome. 1. Keep an eternal perspective. 2. Express thanks and stop worrying. (words to live by for me!) ;) 3. Dwell on the positive instead of the negative. 4. Rely on Christ in spite of your Circumstances. BE JOYFUL EVERY DAY!! You never know when you will cross the finish line. :)

At the end of the service, Pastor Wheeler asked if he could do a special prayer for me. Of course I said yes and it was wonderful. I feel so blessed to have found such a great church family that has helped us out so much in the little time that we have been there. We've been attending since September 2011 and we feel so at home there.

It's a beautiful day out there today...the sun is shining...but I am back inside and "back to my bubble" for the next few days anyway. I need to stay in to stay well. I can't chance catching anything because my immune system is still so low. Looking forward to my sister coming on Wednesday for lunch to bring me one of my favorites...broccoli casserole...yum! :) My home health nurse comes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and says I've been doing pretty well. Still not hearing a lot of air exchange on my right side, but that's just been the way I roll. ;) I'm hoping that I can make it to Alexa's basketball game on Thursday too.

A HUGE thank you goes out to all of you whom have helped us out in one way or another. Whether it be thoughts, prayers, cards, meals, donations, helping out with one of the many fundraisers...the list goes on and on and you all know who you are...THANK YOU! Doug and I feel like we have struck it rich in the friend department. :) We truly appreciate your love and support and we don't know what we'd do without you all in our lives!!

~still tapping my caterpillar feet...waiting, waiting, waiting to get listed...all in His time, all in His time.