Officially Listed!!!!!!!!

Today at 1:25 pm EST I got the phone call from my transplant coordinator telling me that I am officially listed for my double lungs! I have officially left my caterpillar stage and am now in my cocoon waiting for God's perfect timing so I can emerge into my new life. A new life filled with my same hopes and dreams, but a new appreciation for everyone and everything in it. My life was forever changed when I was diagnosed in December 2010 and since my life has resembled that of the caterpillar making it's journey into becoming a butterfly.

If you remember too, both of my grandmothers who were near and dear to my heart left such an impact on me. I was given jewelry of theirs that were butterflies and realizing this at the beginning of my journey has given me the image that they are with me...and I feel their strength carrying me through the rough times. Not only is God with me, but I feel both of my grandmothers there as well. (and my Grandpa Coning...but I feel my Grandma Coning much stronger) :) I also have my Grandma Coning's lucky rabbit foot that she kept with her. She was always so lucky, and Doug tells me I am lucky too (and I am)...so I no doubt have my Grandma's blood running through my veins. I no doubt will make it through transplant and beyond with flying colors. I am going to emerge from this cocoon stronger then ever!! All in God's perfect timing. I know I have to wait, and wait I will. Hopefully it won't be too long, but I know he is creating the perfect wings for me and it can't be rushed. If it's rushed, the wings won't be perfect and things could go wrong and we don't want that!

This is me...I'm finally in my cocoon! :)

Which reminds me of a story of a man that found a cocoon of a butterfly. The story is this: A man found a cocoon of a butterfly and one day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole. Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further. So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bits of cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily but it had a swollen body and shriveled wings. The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the body, neither happened! In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around. It was never able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand: The restricting cocoon and the struggle required by the butterfly to get through the opening was a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings so that it would be ready for flight once that was achieved. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives. Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us. We will not be as strong as we could have been and we would never fly.

So my coordinator told me that my score is 39.54 and that is a pretty high number for the first time. I am in the top 25%. A score of 48 and higher would be the top 10%. I do not know when I will get my transplant...there is no way of knowing. It could be later tonight (wishful thinking)...could be tomorrow...could be next week...could be next month. We could also have some "dry runs" where we will get a call, perhaps get to Cleveland and then find out the lungs aren't good for me or something else comes up. I do know that even though I am happy to move on to the next stage I am also sad because I realize that someone else will be losing a life. Another family will be losing a loved one. All in order for me to live my life and my dreams. This is such a great sacrifice that anyone can give and I will be forever thankful to my donor and their family should I be blessed with a new set of wings.

That's it for now folks...I've got a bag to pack and a list to make to have ready just in case I get "The Call"..... :) Love to you all from Kara the Caterpillar :)